小日子一旦过得太过“纯洁”，人就慢慢散下去。后遗症亦很明显，整个人像提早进入更年期一样，迟缓、困顿。工作、玩耍、躺下的时候脑子其实并不闲着，甚至会把想写的内容在脑海里反复过滤，但人却仿佛陷入魔咒，只要一坐到电脑前面准备敲字大脑就立即短路，记不起有什么可写，也失去了写字的欲望。其实我讨厌这样的自己，仿佛没有经过中青年的过渡直接杀入老年，无所求亦不想去求。
无聊时开始慢慢把以前所有发在其他blog里的日志一篇篇转过来。真是无比浩大的工程。这些年因为安全感的匮乏以及众多难以一一表述的原因把博客搬来搬去，最直接的影响就是有许多文字已经流失，损失较大的是01年到03年的部分，因为早期本来就写得少，部分琐碎的片段并没有刻意地保存；再来就是损失最严重的，04到05年间的所有，当时是在msn space上写着，因与某人闹别扭，两度清空space。本来电脑上一直都有存底，但在06年年初的某次误删事件后所有一切都归于空白。
06年是最勤奋的一年，写的比其余所有年份加起来还要多、还要勤。但上半年那些来势汹汹、理直气壮的怨念与执着常常让现在的我感到羞愧，读了那么多师太的书，都读到瓜哇国去，一点姿态也无地和人斤斤计较，简直像一个活生生的市井女子，在街上为一毛钱和人撕破脸来大吵大闹，毫无形象可言。
连续工作几天还没把全部日志转完。只是可惜当初那些评论，那么多人的关注都没法一一保留，只剩我自己偶尔回去那些早已关闭的blog里去怀念一下旧日的温情。
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