如果把恨换成爱，可能会更对某些人的胃口。不过我真正想说的，也许根本和爱恨无关。
会动笔写这一篇，是因为看到以往认识的某女孩的日志，篇篇都与前男友有关：他狠心绝情与她分手，而且很快又交了新女友，而她之前为他做出过怎样的牺牲，曾经有多么好的工作机会，为了与他厮守所以没有去；又有去另一个国家继续深造的机会，为了不与他分隔两地而放弃等等等等。
我这半生最怕遇见两类人，痴男和怨女。痴情的男人不可怕，可怕的是痴缠。他爱你，你要不就不要爱他，你若爱了他又离开他或背叛他，那就是一种罪。所以不断听说大学里有男生杀了女友和她的情人然后自杀。怨女则更可怕，她在自尊与自怜之间徘徊，绝不说失恋是自己的错，把责任全部推到男人头上，他喜新厌旧，他冷血无情。她往往不会对那个男人纠缠不休，但会像祥林嫂一样重复他的绝情和自己的傻，让她的每一个朋友心力交瘁。
因此，很可能我真正想说的其实是怨念。怨念是一种很可怕的气场，让所有接近它的人不寒而栗。它让美女变成怨妇，帅哥变成窝囊废。再高贵的人，身上带着几分怨气，便立时失了身份变成普通人。
你侬我侬时大家总能毫不犹豫地付出所有，一旦恩爱成为往事，以前所付出的便成了罪证。所以总有人撕破脸，吵架开口就说：我那时为你堕胎；我那时为你离婚；我那时为你没有去做那份优厚的工作；我那时为了你放弃了出国的机会，等等等等，后面跟着来的是：我那时候怎么那么傻呢。其实潜台词无非是：我以前为了你付出的那些，我现在非常后悔，因为你居然敢完全不珍惜我的付出。可惜我付出的没法收回，这一切都是你的错。
口气这样理所当然，仿佛付出成了一种手段、一个条件，一把可以拿来要挟的武器，一件用来互相诋毁的证据。即使是吵架时一时冲动说出，但在别人看来，姿态实在难看。
为什么一定要在最后把一切推翻，忘记其实在一开始，所有的付出都是甜蜜，即使是为错的人做过的错事，都是因为曾经的喜爱。所以，亲爱的女孩们，还是把那些怨念统统收起来吧，不要再说任何让自己有失身份的话，只去希望下一次再恋爱，可以遇见对的人，因为对的人不会让你的付出白费。
这也许就是后来的后来，我再不敢轻易要求谁为我付出的原因，所幸也没有谁会想要拿自己的幸福来犯傻。更何况，如果要也要不来对方的付出，那会是多么的难堪。
所以，当我想起，你曾为我做的事，然后，我又想起，吵架时你从未说过类似“我当初为你做了什么”的话，我也就不那么恨你了。所以，就让我希望，下一次恋爱，真的遇见不再让我哭的人。我想，这个要求并不能算太高。
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