大约每一个人的内心深处都有一个洞。潜藏着所有负面的情绪与回忆。譬如,不堪回首的童年经历,无法面对的破碎感情,羞于人知的秘密心事。还有,寂寞。师太也说,寂寞乃是全球性疾病。由此可知寂寞并非可耻,亦不是个人专属,没什么可拿出来说事儿的。
只是洞里的东西时不时会出来打扰一下我的正常生活,使我情绪低落,手足无措。
每天,每个人都在寻找各种方式来填补这个洞。不知道别人是用什么办法来解决的,而我不开心的时候总是沉默,然后哭,无论何时何地与谁一起。越不开心越要流泪,越流泪越不开心,恶性循环。改变恐怕不是件容易的事。有时候没来由的,视线会模糊,几分钟后就蒸发,然后一切如常。
====================分割线====================
Vivian与我同年,长我数月,牧羊座。天生一张巴掌脸,大眼睛尖下巴,笑起来很是妩媚。某天我们一起看电影,《How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days》,本意是“怎样在10天里甩掉一个男人”,可是起初看到标题,以为是“怎样在10天里失去一个男人”。一字之差,判若云泥。电影的中途去喝水抽烟,和某人说话,被指责我在敷衍。大哭一场。直到电影结束都瞪着一双湿润的眼睛。Vivian不明所以,只当我被电影感动,于是拍拍我的肩说:睡一觉就好了,别想太多。
是既体贴又有分寸的安慰。有预感,如果我们对对方都没有太多要求,如果只是维持现在的状态,有时间就逛街聊天,没时间就自得其乐。生活上不要有太多交集,感情上不要有太多干涉。我们也许会成为很好的朋友。
====================分割线====================
学期开始以后,并没有觉得吃力,虽然每天都被时刻表框死,虽然睡眠成了奢侈的事,但竟从未在课上睡着。并没有觉得特别开心,但也没有特别不开心。善待同学,但从未刻意讨好故作亲热。不是不会,只是不想。
偶尔想起留在Dunedin的过往,再不会撕心裂肺。也许有几分惆怅,也只似梦一场。笑一笑,所有的情绪都可以隐藏。偶尔想起和大家一起喝酒钓鱼抓螃蟹的日子,觉得开怀,又有一丝遗憾。前些时楠B在MS上写到钓鱼的事,我回复“我还是挺怀念当初我们一大帮人去钓鱼的”,楠B说“哎~~可惜了~~”。意味不明却又意味深长的一声感叹。难以相信,那些日子竟真是一去不返了。
近期很念旧,也许会断断续续开始写一写旧日的朋友――所谓旧日的朋友,是指很久很久,甚至多年未曾联系的朋友。有一些飞和保e可能会有印象,其他人应该都不得而知,有一些应该甚至连她们都不知道。不过,尽请大家不要期待,因为我所谓的断断续续,有可能一两天一篇,也有可能很久才写一篇。
What’s up, after reading this amazing post i am also delighted to share my familiarity here with friends.
Great blog! Do you have any tips and hints for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you recommend starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m totally overwhelmed .. Any recommendations? Bless you!
Saved as a favorite, I love your site!
Excellent, what a weblog it is! This web site presents valuable data to us, keep it up.
You ought to take part in a contest for one of the best websites online. I’m going to highly recommend this web site!
You can definitely see your enthusiasm within the work you write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. All the time follow your heart.
May I simply say what a relief to uncover somebody that really knows what they are discussing online. You actually understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important. A lot more people really need to look at this and understand this side of the story. I was surprised you are not more popular given that you most certainly possess the gift.
Does your blog have a contact page? I’m having trouble locating it but, I’d like to shoot you an e-mail. I’ve got some ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great website and I look forward to seeing it improve over time.