工作以后才有时间系统而完整的回忆整个荒芜的童年与少年。
站在心的角落查看那个无知而愚蠢的自己。一遍一遍看她怎样从一个现在的我最不喜爱的角色变成如今这个模样。
一直为自己从未是一个惹人喜爱的女子而感到遗憾。童年时太过沉默胆怯。少年时太过自恋张扬。而现在,现在无非是沉默而刻薄的普通女子。难以喜欢一个人,对于初次见面者总抱以怀疑态度。极度难以被讨好,并喜欢摆出恶劣的姿态让人为难。
一直试图追寻我是如何长成现在这个样子,如何失落,如何欢喜,如何决意与自己的过去与历史再见,又如何得来的勇气一次一次重新开始。
我想这与我遇见的人,做过的事有很大关系。
所以从今天起开了这个新类别。大面积回忆,小范围记录。从小写起,只记录一些也许永远不会与我有任何瓜葛的过客,所以那些没有被记录在案的大家,请不要误解。那只是因为我还未与你们分开。
这些文字仅作为我回忆的一部分被记录,真实与否其实我自己也无从得知,也许仅仅是因为回忆的次数太多而被扭曲的幻觉。然而真相或幻觉都好,他们只是从我脑子里被剥离的碎片,不需要得到任何人的肯定或否定。
回忆仅作为回忆存在,所以十分安全。至于现在,不要问,我不会答,亦不想答。因为现在的变数太多,无论有多么坚强的信念,对于现在始终心怀恐惧。只希望你们知道,我过的很好。
What a data of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable knowledge on the topic of unpredicted emotions.
Aw, this was an extremely nice post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to produce a really good article… but what can I say… I put things off a whole lot and don’t manage to get nearly anything done.
At this time it seems like WordPress is the top blogging platform out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?
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I was curious if you ever considered changing the page layout of your website? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or 2 pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?
Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.
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Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyhow, just wanted to say superb blog!