从来没有想到过,在我这没什么技术含量的blog里也能出现如此沉重而泛泛的话题。关于爱与背叛、战争与和平。原因其实很简单,因为有一本书,让我想起了许多事。
还记得上一次落泪是什么时候吗?我自己的,我记的很清楚。大约因为无论表面上伪装得多么坚强,骨子里我却始终是一个如此软弱的人。
八月八号那天晚上,我守在电视机前一边不顾形象的狂啃着“周黑鸭”,一边目不转睛地观看奥运会开幕式的每一个细节,甚至连运动员入场也没放过,哈哈笑着数周涛说了几个口误(其实我还挺喜欢她和她的声音)。直到电视里传来“伊拉克”这个名字。虽然他们队里一共只有八个人,其中还有两个由于耽误了报名时间只能做替补队员(就是别的运动员因为某些原因退出比赛他们才能参加),但让我欣慰的是,场上依然响起了仅次于中国出场时的雷鸣般的掌声。我也默默地放下了手中的鸭架子,鼻子里浮现出微微的酸意。
巧合的是,闭幕式那天,我在网易看新闻,无意间看到这样一则简短的消息。
短跑选手达娜·侯赛因是唯一代表伊拉克参加2008北京奥运会的女性运动员,她将参加100米和200米两个项目的比赛。她自己买比赛服,然后缝上国旗。训练的跑道是沥青的,高温把脚底都要烤焦。从家里到场地要经过一片教派冲突地区,经常有枪战。7月25日,伊拉克被正式宣布取消北京奥运会参赛资格后,达娜·侯赛因哭了整整4个小时,教练试图安慰她,说她还年轻,还可以参加2012年伦敦奥运会,她说“我不知道还能不能活到2012年。”幸好,通过中国和国际奥委会的努力,在奥运会开始前8天,伊拉克的参赛资格才得以恢复。
我记得,那是在晚饭之前的数分钟前,读完后,我终于不由自主地哭了。那时候,房间里没有开灯,妈妈跑来叫我吃饭,我微微的朝窗外别过头去,告诉她我马上就来。
两个月后的一个雨天,我裹紧我的羊毛披肩,窝在办公室的角落开始读出版于03年、就在世贸大厦消失于这个世界之后不久的这本《追风筝的人》(The Kate Runner),花了两天时间把它读完。这中间,究竟有多少次眼泪涌进眼眶,已经数不清。看完后,我追看了07年好莱坞拍的同名电影,觉得失望。相信我,如果你愿意,还是读小说吧,小说富有感染力与感情色彩的文字使得内容如此饱满丰盈,而电影被时间长度与各种复杂的因素束缚,缺少灵魂。
其实我并不想将它形容成一部对亲情与友情的礼赞、爱与背叛交织的诗篇、自我欺骗与自我救赎拉扯出的画卷,但我实在找不出更好的语言。跌宕的情节,美丽的语言,就这样平静又汹涌地讲述了这样一个不可宽恕的时代,一段不可能开展的友谊,以及这许多不可毁灭的爱。
它之所以感动我至深,也许因为中国与这些国家有许多相似之处,同样经受过侵略与内战的浸淫,唯一不同的是,直到今天,他们依然生活在战争的阴影之下。这本书让我无数次想起,童年时的我,还生活在旧而小的房子里,窝在阳台可以晒到太阳的角落,闻着迎春花的香味阅读,在很长一段时期痴迷于有关抗战、内战、文革的内容,还没有到悲天悯人的年纪,却早早有了一颗对战争感到厌恶的心。更也许是,我如此忧伤地从阿米尔的身上看见了自己的某些隐藏于内心深处连自己都没有想过的懦弱与伤感。它如此沉重而满怀痛楚地一击即中,避无可避。所以,我哭了。
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