这些年在纽,流离于三个城市,见到了多样风景。的确有许多是值得存心而记的,只可惜时时不得空。
奥克兰的记忆是唯一而纯粹的,因为彼时天真烂漫,甚至可以说是天真烂漫得过了头,还不懂得照顾别人的情绪,更不懂得照顾自己。那两年竟真似梦一场,过去得无声无息,与现在的生活再没有半点联系。没有联络留在奥克兰的任何人,我所牵挂的人都已各自纷飞,不在彼处。不过多半的好友亦都是彼时认识,飞、保保,以及小悠、圈还有窟窿。有一些人顺着时间的洪流来了,又渐行渐远,彼时看得比什么都重要的,转个身就云淡风清。
十月底的时候,我说要开始写故人往事,却一直没有开始,其实也不仅仅是时间的问题,更多关乎于心情。那些在流年里湮没的人与事,似乎并没有什么可写的事迹,但又有非写不可的理由。因为怀念一旦开始就无从停止。
在达尼丁的三年不必再提,就纯粹的当成一段电影好了。若要开始写故人往事,在达尼丁的比起在奥克兰的,只有更多。
基督城的天气犹如翻书,一页是夏天,一页是冬天,周而复始无休无止。遭遇了许多温柔,当然也遇见了丑陋,可是这不正是生活的真谛么,痛并快乐,快乐并痛。
拖拖拉拉的,终于把上次买来沧月的镜系列四本看完了《双城》、《破军》、《龙战(上、下)》。依旧喜欢苏摩,我似乎独爱这样阴戾狠毒的角色,如妖似魅,因为看得到他们心中的软弱与悲哀,甚至连他的偶人傀儡都爱屋及乌了。看《破军》时喜欢上云焕,他可算是《镜》系列里最传神,最有人的味道的角色了,沧月只用随心数笔就勾引出了青春的伤痕,那些真实残酷的年华的影子。
二十三岁的时候,我终于长大了。丢下心里那个不愿长大的自己。开始学习体谅与宽容,对人对己。包括母亲。定期打电话回家,不再如鸵鸟一般厌世避世。妈妈老了,她需要我。
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